9 to 10 speed upgrade isn't worth it unless you really like the new ergonomics. Personally, even with smallish hands, I like the feel of the 6600 series Ultegra shifters better than the 6500 (I own both but do most of my miles commuting with the 6500's). The 6600 series shifters have more girth to grip allowing my hands to feel more stable especially out of the saddle and the clicks of the shifters feel more "right" to me as well (that's VERY subjective though). I haven't tried 6700 though. I guess I need to build a new bike

With that said, I really don't think going from a triple to a compact is a worthwhile change either. You lose gearing range while also increasing the gap between chainrings. A properly set up 6503 triple should shift beautifully given the smooth shifting of the Shimano compacts I've set up. A triple has to shift better given the smaller tooth differential. If something doesn't feel right on your current set up, find someone who really knows how to set up a triple or learn for yourself. www.parktool.com has great instructions for setting up deraillers.