In our pay as you go organized rides they have a SAG wagon traveling up and down the road, which I find comforting.

Yes, I can repair a flat, but if I pop a spoke on my dumb paired spoke wheels with my fat @ss 30 miles from civilization (which I've done before) I'm a bit hosed.

And you can never have too many T-shirts.

The OP sounds like he's spent way too much time hanging around Pinon Canyon. I've been there on assignment and I can tell you it sucks.