Closest I ever came to messing my shorts was on a loaded bike tour of the East Coast. 25 miles in each direction to the nearest towns. Surrounded by trees farms, crop fields, etc. Just pulled over, dropped a duece in a field behind a tree, wiped using the emergency TP any good cycle tourer carries, and was on my way.

My riding buddies had a laugh while I was squatting behind a tree, threatening to push me over into the pile of dookie while I had my lycra around my ankles.