Bike clothes:
2 jerseys - 1 imo
2 shorts - definitely 1 imo
2 pairs of socks - 2 is fine
biking shoes - I'd consolidate to one pair of shoes. I cycle in my everyday shoes, with clips or flat pedals though
2 pairs of underwear (top and bottom each) - 2 bottoms, sure, 2 tops, I'd pass on.
rain coat
rain pants
rain gloves (not willing to leave any of the rain gear...I had to use it almost every day)
fingerless gloves
long sleeved jersey - I'd skip this if you're determined on bringing off-bike clothing that doubles here
vest - same as above
tights - Are you talking bike short? If so, why bring shorts at all.
shower cap for helmet cover
reflective vest

Off-bike clothes:
fleece jacket - HEAVY
thermals (top and bottom) must have for this time of year - going with a merino wool base layer can be *WAY* lighter than traditional thermals
capris - You're bringing shorts, why bother?
thin t-shirt - Aren't you bringing an undershirt already?
(didn't bring sneakers but I really regretted it and will be this time)

Kitchen:
stove
lighter
2 pots - 1
collapsible bowl - Orikaso
collapsible cup - Orikaso
fork - Consolidate utensils
spoon - Consolidate utensils
knife
can opener (small scout kind)
folding spoon for cooking - Consolidate utensils
small plate - Orikaso
2 Platypus bags (had to use both a couple times) - 2? Are you carrying no bottles?
sharp knife (decided to leave that at home this time since the other knife will work) - You have a knife already listed
cutting board - Orikaso doubles as cutting boards, this is probably a quite heavy item for you

Camp:
tent - Tents and sleeping bags are good places to reduce weight (although expensive)
sleeping pad & mat (can't sleep without both so not willing to part with one or the other) - What do you mean by mat? A good pad is a necessity, and can save you a TON of weight. Thermarest Neoair weighs 9-11 oz and packs smaller than a 1 liter bottle (and inflates to ~4 inches)
small couch pillow (same as above...clothes in a stuff sack doesn't cut it) - Look into an inflatable pillow, like the one Russ Roca suggests [http://epicureancyclist.com/?p=1060]
sleeping bag - Tents and sleeping bags are good places to reduce weight (although expensive)
silk liner - Necessary if you have a good bag?
rope for hanging clothes to dry and food off the ground - You can lighten your load here if you have some heavy rope
clothes pins - May not be necessary
headlamp
camp towel - Hopefully an ultralight towel and not a terrycloth one

First aid kit...I wont list what all I took but let's say that it weighed in at 4 lbs so I want to know what the average first aid kit consists of because I want to pare this down. I'm thinking that allergry medicine, allergy eye drops, advil for sure but what else should I definitely have? What does a road rash kit that most people take with them have in it? I had a horrible crash with bad road rash so I was carrying everything I needed to take care of it like I did at home but obviously that's overkill... - 4 pounds sounds like a terribly heavy first aid kit.

Toieltries: (items were travel size when possible)
hairbrush - Possible 'do-without'
tooth brush
tooth paste - could go with powder
deodorant
sunscreen
chap stick
lotion (well, I didn't bring it last time but won't go without it again) - sunscreen and lotion? Look to a consolidated option
floss baby wipes
multipurpose soap
nail clippers
toilet paper

Tools:
So I won't list what I brought here either...but the people I was with had more than enough tools so I'm just going to be bringing the stuff necessary to change/fix a tube and a multi tool to make minor adjustments in case I have trouble and they're not around. - Tools are a place you can really cut down on weight. Many multi-tools weigh more than their single-use counterparts. I like to carry broken down tools for that reason, as well as the fact that they're easier to use.

Misc:
phone - Need this?
camera - Bring this
Garmin bike computer - Paper map?
compact charger for the three above items - Sure
wallet - Yep
tiny little pad of paper as a journal - Definitely bring, don't forget a pen or pencil
cable lock (will definitely be bringing again) - I bring a lock, even when traveling lightest possible