As far as weight goes, I have found that I have trouble if the weight of my bicycle + all my gear adds up to more than about half my body weight. If I can keep the weight down below half my body weight, I can climb hills fairly comfortably, and carry my stuff up the stairs of hostels or train stations. The bicycle is also easier to handle and I don't get so tired when I cycle.
So ... on my tours my bicycle (which has recently been stolen) weighs 27 lbs, and I tried to keep the gear down around 40 lbs.
My gear fit into two panniers, a Carradice, and a handlebar bag (which was also stolen).
Choose things that have many uses ... a jersey, for example, is limiting. You wouldn't like want to wear a jersey around town on an "off" day, but a wicking T-shirt can be used both on or off the bicycle.
So as far as clothing goes, you have listed 8 tops (2 jerseys, 2 baselayers, 1 long-sleeved jersey, 1 fleece jacket, 1 thermal, 1 T-shirt) and 2 vests (one non-reflective and one reflective) and 1 rain jacket ... for a total of 11 things to wear on top.
How about going with a couple light wicking T-shirts which can be worn on or off the bicycle, 1 long-sleeved merino wool which can be worn on or off the bicycle, and a light fleece jacket which can be worn on or off the bicycle. Get one vest with reflective stripes, and bring the rain jacket. Now your total is down to 6 things to wear on top.
You can apply these same principles to the other things you're thinking of bringing. The more uses a single item has, the better. Take your kitchen stuff for example ... if you're bringing 2 pots, which you can both cook and eat out of, do you need a bowl and plate too? In fact, if you mainly eat raw food ... do you need 2 pots? Just one would probably do ... you can only cook one pot of whatever at a time, right? You list two spoons and two knives - can you get away with just one of each?
As for the question of what you can take on a plane ... have a read here, then look up the airline(s) of your choice to confirm the information.
http://www.ibike.org/encouragement/travel/bagregs.htm