I'm with ItsJustMe... you couldn't pay me to ride any of those... in addition to the loss of control, you have the following:

On a bike, your weight is supposed to be spread between 5 points (two hands, two feet, and a butt) and your legs need to slide along the seat with as little friction as possible. Thus, seats with lots of (grippy) padding are the equivalent of taking a cheese grater to your delicate bits, which is not on my list of kinks. You need slicked up thighs (lycra shorts, possibly chamois cream), a hard-ish, SLICK addle (leather > hard plastic > squishy gel) and you need your bike adjusted correctly so that you're not putting too much weight on your butt or arms. Then just get out and ride until you get used to supporting your weight with all 5 points and you'll notice a dramatic increase in comfort!

Oh, and if you're a woman, you also need to make sure the saddle is wide enough for your sit bones.