More than ONE C&V bike?- Whatever on earth for?! You can only ride one bike at a time, and to own any more than that is the epitome of conspicuous excess and self-indulgence! -Indeed, people who own more than one bike are without shame: Nothing less than depraved two-wheeling hedonists, wallowing in bike-mongering depravity!

The money they spend on them steals the bread from their table, and each time they ride off on one, they literally turn their backs on their wives and children. Oh, the shame, the shame!

Fortunately, I can offer a cure: Send your best C&V bikes to me, and I will make sure that they corrupt you no longer. You will sleep with a clear conscience, knowing that you have done the only decent and righteous thing.