I've got a few friends, stronger riders than I am, that I ride with and feel comfortable sitting on their wheel while working just over/under my LT during the ride. I can "relax" (in an oxygen-debt kind of way,) find a steady cadence and keep the gap between wheels fairly consistent without the speed up/slow down/speed up/slow down accordion-effect. When I'm with people I know and trust I can (or at least I try very, very hard) be a non-nuisance in the paceline and considering that I keep getting asked back I'd venture to guess that I'm doing okay.

But when I go to rallies I wind up either a nervous wreck on a stranger's wheel, alone in no-mans land somewhere between the faster group at the front and the slower group behind, or some combination both.

Case in point: two weeks ago I was riding hard with a group, none of whom I knew. I was not being a good paceline citizen - I found it really difficult not to overreact to every inconsistency ahead of me. My pedaling was a mess, I feathered the brakes when I really didn't need to, I wasn't holding a very good line. Really I was annoying. But not knowing the people in front of me I couldn't relax. A rider in front of me would stand suddenly, the person behind them would brake, then I'd brake etc. Eventually I fell off the back so that I could relax and not be 'that girl' but then I was in between groups and did the last half of the ride all alone. Not bad when I'm looking for a solo ride but that day I'd wanted at least a few people with which to share the load.

Am I just supposed to assume that since I'm riding with a relatively fast group everyone knows what they're doing? Because I don't think that's the case. Or am I wrong? I'm beginning to wonder if this is why I know a lot of people who won't ride t-shirt rallies? What's the alternative?