I've got to admire the whole Don Quixotesque aspect of the plan. If you really thought this was a great idea, I'd definitely be more full of ridicule. But the spirt of taking what you've got and making it work within your own parameters has turned me into a fan. Good luck!
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You could fall off a cliff and die.
You could get lost and die.
You could hit a tree and die.
OR YOU COULD STAY HOME AND FALL OFF THE COUCH AND DIE.