This one time, I was riding my fixed gear, and all of a sudden I began to levitate.

My wheels were still turning and of course I was still pedalling, but I was lifted through the Clouds to the top of Mt. Sinai, where the Buddha appeared to me.

He said, "Cool story Bro."

And I said "Tell me - what is the secret to dodging traffic like a messenger?"

and he answered, "He who tarcks like the bear, knocks trash cans with greatest respect."

Then I woke up and the paramedics were bandaging up some of my deeper lacerations with this weird goo stuff. I noticed the cab driver talking to the squad car across the street but then I remembered what the Buddha had said, so I turned back to the paramedics and I asked if I could borrow some of their arterial mending gunk because I needed to glue up a tubular to my zipp disc that I just got from my bike mechanic friend.


That was my first week riding fixed and it was totally religious, bro.