First, get yourself a jump stop. That will keep the chain from dropping off the small chainring.
I don't care how well the derailleur is adjusted and how good you are at shifting the chain is coming off at some point (like Andy Schleck)
I use this one but there are others depending on what fits your bike:

http://www.gvtc.com/~ngear/

I have one on all bikes including singles with double rings and chain NEVER comes off the small ring.

In general I thought Shimano stuff at different levels all worked about the same, Dura Ace, Ultegra or whatever.
Not sure if Tiagra does not shift as well.
I have had good luck with Shimano XTR and Campy Comp Triple.
The problem could also be the chain rings if they do not have good ramps and pins.
I try to mount the FD parallel to the chain rings, having it at an angle is not a good idea.
Also check that the derailleur is not mounted too high above the chain rings, there should be about 2mm clearance to the big chain ring.
Chain width is also going to be a factor. Using a narrow chain with a derailleur that has a wide cage or visa versa may be problematic.
In general you want all the drive train components to be matched for how many speeds you have 8, 9 or 10.