OP: part of the problem may be what you consider to be "close". If your "close" is not another rider's "close", they may think you're braking too much. If you're comfortable at 5 feet off a wheel, and the guy behind you wants to be within 1 foot, then the rider behind may yell at you to close the gap.

For example, if I'm behind someone that is leaving, say, a 10 foot gap to the next rider, I know that the guy in front of me is working way harder than necessary. I typically won't yell to close the gap (I used to, but not anymore), but I'll probably go around him. I know that all that extra work will tire out the guy and, unless he's way stronger than his riding skills indicate, he'll get shelled. At the best he'll struggle in as pack fodder.

If it's a rider I know, and I know the rider normally rides closer, I'll think about giving him a light shove to help him close the gap. I won't do this to a rider I don't know or don't trust.

For tailgunning (which I do frequently), check out some of the helmet cam clips I've put up. In particular check out Somerville and Harlem. I had the hardest times there, and I really tailgunned. Like almost tailgunned myself off the back.

Harlem:

Somerville:

Note that the camera makes people look further away than they really are. The gaps are smaller than they appear.

cdr