I own a proper torquing tool. more than one, and I know how to use it. I'm with DaveSSS as well - that number is a maximum, and when I tighten by hand, I find that the stem is properly tightened before I ever hit the maximum torque value printed on the stem. I have also broken one of those expensive titanium bolts by tightening to the max torque value.

Slowly tighten with a y wrench until you are unable to move the stem on the steerer tube, holding the front wheel between your legs.

Oh, additionally, I haven't ever used carbon assembly compound on the stem/steerer. I have never used anything for that assembly, and haven't ever had a problem getting the two apart later.