When people ask me for my cell number, I get a kick out of telling them I've never been in prison.

It's troubling that some people act hurt, as if I must surely have a cellphone, but am pretending not to, apparently because I don't consider them important enough to give my number.

Alas, it is getting harder to find payphones in my neighborhood. Last week I bought a Reese peanutbutter cup at a supermarket for change, and when I asked the cashier where the nearest payphone she smirked and said, "Even HOMELESS PEOPLE have cellphones!" (Won't be going back in there for peanutbutter cups anytime soon. )