man, thanks for the advice everyone. interesting info. my gloves are fairly un-padded (performance terry gloves) so i think i'll have to work on my wrist angle and positioning. i've never heard of getting into the drops and trying to let go of the bars while staying in position so i'll have to try that too. i have a sneaking feeling that my bike is a size too big as well so that might be one of the problems. i've been meaning to get it professionally fit but haven't had the time. guess now would be a good time.
i'll have to try that stretch too. i can feeling back if i let go of the bars and shake them a bit but another couple miles of flats and their back to being numb again. very frustrating.
thanks again.