Speak for yourself!

Here's me cycling through France on my 2007 tour ...






But really, as far as I'm concerned ... wear what you want to wear, carry what you want to carry on the bicycle, shower when you want to shower. The article, and some of the things you've said (OP), assume that we're actually noticed out there. In reality, most people will hardly give us a passing glance, and if we do happen to briefly make it onto someone's radar (i.e. at a grocery check-out), our actions and attitudes will make much more of an impact than what we're wearing. Smile, say something pleasant to the cashier, compliment the town ... and you'll be remembered for being that pleasant cycletourist. And it won't matter if you happen to be wearing something that's less than perfect, or if your hair isn't styled just right.