While true, this won't help me in the immediate term. The building owner is a large, bureaucratic organization which, while near and dear to many american's hearts and minds, will not take action on this type of request with any sort of alacrity. As such, let's assume I'm stuck with the options I've outlined. Of course, I can search for alternate facilities in other neighboring buildings, of course -- but most belong to one or another agency of the same behemoth parent organization. Although my location is Fairfax VA, think in terms of my workplace -- Washington DC :-)