Well, I finally found a pin that would budge and got the chain pulled this evening. It's soaking comfortably as I type this.

Still pretty unhappy about the Park tool busting on me like that, but I guess I learned never to muscle down on crummy cast steel! I also don't plan to leave the rez again anytime soon either - those other people just don't get it... but that's just going to make it that much more enjoyable the next time I drop one of those carbon fiber pretty boys when I'm out on my Freschi.

Thanks, everyone, for the input!