Originally Posted by
Darth_Firebolt
I'm not over 50, i just thought this would be the most mature subforum to post this in. I saw the thread about Digital Gee losing his father, and I didn't want to derail that topic.
I'm about to turn 21 and losing my dad is the monster that keeps me up at night. Both of my grandfathers died last February, and all I could think about was how I was going to have to bury my dad one of these days. I had to miss school for 2 days when my dog died during my senior year of high school. I had that dog since I was 2, and I had to miss school. Just the thought of losing my dad sends me into fits of uncontrollable crying. How do you deal with this? My dad did and has done so much for me, and I have no idea what i'm going to do when he isn't here. I don't think any of my friends have even considered this, so I am afraid to talk to them about it. Is this a normal fear for a 20 year old? My dad is 56 and smoked for about 35 years, is overweight but not obese, eats a lot of things that are not good for him, etc.
Thanks in advance.
Mods; please do not move to Foo. Just delete it if you must.
Dear Darth Firebolt,
It is perfectly normal for you to worry about your father's health at this time. Smoking for 35 years, and a poor diet hasn't done him any good. And since you experienced the recent deaths of your grandfathers, it is only natural for you to project your father into that situation too.
When I was in my 20's, I feared for my father's life too: I even dreamt that he died. He was extremely overweight, and had diabetes. I was able to talk to my mother about it. Freakily, he died 1 month after my dream, at 50 years old. I wish he would've changed his habits, and taken care of himself better. His death was very difficult for my mom and all four of us "kids". I miss him dearly to this day, 25 years later.
I suggest that you make an opportunity to talk to you father, and let him know how you feel. Let out some of what's on your mind, and in your heart. Maybe you can open him up to thinking about a lifestyle change. Let him know that you'll be there to support him in any way. 56 is so young! He can still reverse so much of the damage if he tries. Perhaps he can set it up as a New Year's resolution. Get his doctor involved. The drug Chantrix to help quit smoking really works! No smoker wants to smoke. It's just soooo hard to quit!! It would be the greatest thing he could do for himself. And eat right and exercise. Then yeah, like xizangstan said: go riding together, so he remembers what its like to be 20 again!
One thing to remember though DF: You cannot feel bad or guilty about your father's behaviors; he makes his own choices. Love him, and enjoy him all you can.
My very best wishes to you . . and to your father!