based on the requirements you listed, you should check out Target. I just got one a few weeks ago because my snowboarding clava basically had all the same problems you listed when trying to use it for cycling. The one from Target has worked like charm so far, and its dirt cheap.

I should mention that I still use a medium weight riding cap to cover my ears because the Target clava is not thick enough to do the job alone. This doesn't bother me though because I like using a cap and a clava in combination so that I can pull the clava down over my neck and just use it as a gater when I conditions don't require a clava. I can't do this with my snowboarding clava because its too tight and the materail is stiffer. In fact, I'm going to use the Target clava for snowboarding this season for this very reason.