I feel forced to participate in Black Friday. It's our patriotic duty to spend money we don't have on crap we don't need.

(Actually, I do a lot of my Christmas shopping on December 24, and the rest on December 26. At Meijer stores, they set up the cash register lines backwards on 12/26, so that people returning their gifts will be funneled into the store to spend their refund money right away!