To the original OP: It takes time to find out what bike set-up works for you, lots of time. I'm an avid rider now, besides weekend and night rides, I commute any day I can work it out, rotate through 8 bikes depending on my rides. My first real road bike five years ago was pure misery, but I learned how to set it up for me to work for me. Now its pure joy. There is a lot of conventional wisdom ( and marketing ) about how you bike should be set-up and how you should ride that simply won't work for you, so its trial and error. Clipless pedals is a prime example, there are other options. As far as riding in traffic, it's a skill and attitude that's developed over time. Frankly, I very much enjoy riding in traffic now, my reaction time, judgment and confidence has grown to the point I feel safer on the bike than I would in my car or walking... it just takes time. So, make some small changes directed at what feels like it works for you, and build on that; ride where you are comfortable. If you give it some time and experimentation I think you'll find a zone that wil deliver rewards.