I have your emoticons turned off.
if you put away the sensitivity I'm sure you'll find the help you are looking for, even in the posts where you see only criticism. but let me make it easy for you.
I think your excitement is a great thing. I don't know why you are setting a lower limit of 180, which seems rather high for 5'9, but whatever.
I think it's pointless to become concerned with expensive bikes and all that stuff now.
I think it's better to find ways of learning to ride more, and in more conditions, so that you can maintain training throughout the year.
Having all these goals is good, but set some priorities.
And please learn to look at what many of us say with humor, as it is intended. Yes, really.