here's an update on my balaclava search as I'm sure you are all dying to hear.

I went to a big chain store that sells sporting goods. I asked a sales person where they kept balaclavas and she said, "ohhhh...I think we have sold out. Go up to the ladies section and they will know for sure." errrr. wut. So I asked her if the ski section might be more likely. She was confused by my suggestion and asked why I would suggest that. I asked her if she knew what a balaclava was and she described a sports bra. I gave up.