It sounds like you are coming down with OCP syndrome. I highly recommend you take lots of pictures of yourself in full kit with your bike, post them on BF, and begin posing as much as possible. Also, find your nearest convenience store, and hang out there in full kit to show off your cool bike, and fancy cycling shoes. Don't worry, you will be fine. This condition is quite common here on Bike Forums.
My condition has been so bad for months now, technically it should have killed me. It can definitely be terminal. However, as long as we come out and admit our condition, then the healing can begin.
Don't worry. We're all in this together. We're pulling for you.

Sincerely,

Patriot
President, OCP Club