Chill pill, dude.
Surly Cross-Check complete is around $800ish. QBP catalog also lists a complete version that sells for $1500ish with STI shifters and better components - they're not yanking your chain, just not showing you the entry level model.
Jamis Nova also sells for around $1K.
Jamis Aurora is even cheaper (around $700ish, I think).
Fuji Touring is sub-$1K (I've seen it selling for under $800).