Looks really nice, Machine Age.
Here are my thoughts:
- Jack Browns are very, very comfy. I love them. They measure 35mm on my rims with 22mm inside width. I also love the Ruffy Tuffys. You can't go wrong with Paselas in 35mm either. FYI, any LBS with a Merry Sales account can order the Jack Browns/Ruffy Tuffy.
- I think the brake levers look fine. If you don't like the black, the VO city bike levers (as someone above mentioned) or the Tektro FL730 might appeal more to you.
- You must address the unlevel rack, but you already knew that. Fenders would look great, but if you don't ride in the rain or on wet streets, don't bother.
- I'm a big fan of the VO bottle cage handlebar mount and the Retro cage.
- I have a new VO chainguard for sale/trade, but it's not going to work with your derailleurs.
- I have the OYB bag and like it. The pannier is small, but looks really nice.