It was raining off and on this morning and not feeling much like cleaning up the bike after a wet ride, I made the fateful decision to take a spinning class. I’d been trying to take one for awhile but never got around to it. Checked the website for the cycle gym, M Cycle (a little known fact is that the M stands for Masochist) and saw that the lovely Gina was the instructor for the 8:15 class.

What to wear? I’m a biker and I’m going to be riding something like a bike so biking gear of course. And while I’m at it I want to make sure that no one confuses me for anything other than a biker who is looking for a dry place to pedal, I wear my full Pinarello (wannabee f4:13) kit. While not exactly matching the full road bike get up, my spd shoes had to do. A real biking water bottle completed the package. I’m a biker damn it and proud of it.

I got to the gym early. Wow. I hadn’t been surrounded by that many women since I was born. And most of them are very attractive to put it mildly. I’m cool as a cucumber and I care not that the few other men who showed were not in full kit biking gear 'cause I looked good. Of course not nearly as good as many of the female class members who are testing my heart rates with some unbelievable bodies and little in the way of clothing to hide them. How cool is this? Now to impress the assembled babeage with my physical prowess.

First rule in spinning class: Don’t put yourself right in the middle so everyone can see you do stupid things and struggle.

Second rule: Don’t forget that these things (Lemonds BTW) DO NOT FREEWHEEL.

Third rule: Hang on tight when you stupidly stop pedaling and the wheel keeps turning you. I caught the inevitable high side, but my left ankle will never be the same.

I made friends with Gina by introducing myself (Gina is in unbelievable shape and a total babe). Okay so maybe Gina figured out I was clueless when she saw my back while I was still clipped in. She was cool about it and showed me the “brake.”

Things start out okay. I’m showing the class the stuff real bikers are made of. Then things pick up. And pick up more. Are those my legs spinning so fast? In and out of the saddle, sprinting, climbing, etc etc more. There is no coasting here and I am suffering. Thank god that no one knows where my resistance is set. Of course Gina comes to visit and with a lovely smile cranks my resistance up a bunch with a taunting “I know you can do it!”

I’m near death at this point, but anything to impress Gina. Sweat is pouring out of me in a Category 4 torrent. One major difference with real biking (did I mention that these things DON’T FREEWHEEL) is that there is NO AIR MOVEMENT in class. I’m sucking in everyone else’s CO and while I wouldn’t mind getting up close and personal with a couple of my classmates, the room is getting very hot and the air way too close.

All of the time Gina is smiling and extolling us to greater efforts. About half way through the class, strangely I start getting my legs under me. While I cannot possibly keep up with the lovely Gina, I’m doing as well or better than the others around me - in sharp contrast to the beginning of the class. By the end of the class I’m even keeping up with Gina but she’s slowing down. I make it through “Stairway to Heaven” (weird music selection and way too loud for even me) then it’s cool down time. It’s over and the next class swarms in. The later class babeage is even more spectacular. Hey maybe I’ll do a second class – but the teacher for the second class has a distinct sadistic look about him so cooler heads prevail.

So will I do it again? You bet. But the next time I’m going to get a front corner location where I can have more air to breathe and I’m not in the mix between the speakers. The improved view of Gina is purely coincidental. My brother and sister bikers (who have been kind enough not to throw anything at me so far) will be proud to know that Gina even complemented me on how well I did (read survived).

So if you’re ever given an opportunity to do a spinning class go for it. Bring your spd’s and DON”T FORGET THE THINGS DON’T FREEWHEEL Wear your biking gear and do us proud. Just do it!