Alright, this is a dumb idea, but I'm house-ridden with nothing better to do, so I'm going to give it a try!
Basically post corny things regarding bikes (SSFG or not) that you like/have on your bike, or have liked in the past, and people will likely hate for.

Alright, me first:
I LOVE(some) colorful bikes, and I do so because I think people sometimes need color in their lives, especially in foggy, bland, depressing cities and towns (like Eureka). I do however think some people go way overboard and hipster trash them as well though.

I also SOMETIMES rock a TT pad because I'm a hemophiliac and often climb stairs, leaving me with shoulder bruises from carrying my bicycle.