you went all the way to naperville and they guy had sold it? that blows, hard.

buying a frame and building it up is more complicated and expensive. if you get a frame you like it makes sense to buy a donor bike with good components to use for the build. as far as the tools you might want to look into a co-op like ciclo urbano (west town bikes). I think they let you come in and work with their tools certain days of the week.

I dont know a ton about the finer steels. seems like most reynolds, tange, and columbus tubing is considered nice. go to the regular c&v forum and ask that question. you'll be shocked at how much some of the enthusiasts there know about bike tubes.

I'd keep hounding craigslist too. sometimes stuff moves fast but good bikes priced around 200 can sit for days.