My car cost more than my bike.
I have a mirror, but I still roll my eyes behind people's backs who use mirrors and scorn their fredosity.
Same for a giant seat-bag that I use for rides that need lots of extra clothing.
I have a triple and a 27 tooth cog, and I'm in my lowest gear all the time.
I look at my average speed on rides and care if it's low or high.
I've never ridden more than 132 miles at a time.
I'm too fat for this sport.

And... I'm buying a powertap and maybe a stupidly expensive and light bike, so soon I can add, my bike is too good for me.