Originally Posted by
JonathanGennick
My own recipe and technique:
Step 1: First, mix the brew
- 67% 10W-30 motor oil as a base.
- 13% ATF because someone suggested it on a forum.
- One stick butter for that movie-popcorn flavor.
- Two scented candles. The wax sheds dirt, and the scent keeps your bike smelling fresh.
- 10% Citrus degreaser to make your lube self-degreasing, which eases cleaning.
- 5% WD-40 to eliminate water contamination during wet rides.
- 5% Mineral "Spirits" to spook your friends so that you can win the race.
Step 2: Pour the above mixture into your wife's teflon-coated cookpot. The teflon will absorb into the lube, giving a bit of the high-tech to the mixture.
Step 3: Set mixture aside to steep.
Step 4: Grab a bottle of store-bought lube and put that on your bike chain.
Step 5: Go riding before your wife finds that pot!
This sounds like the ingredients in Homer Simpson's snack-sized bag of roasted peanuts:
"Salt [of course!], genuine fresh peanut sweepings, artificially flavoured roasting agent".
Don't forget for that "movie-popcorn flavour" you need "imitation-butter artificial edible oil product", the kind that actually caused occupational lung disease in a factory that made the stuff for microwave popcorn packages.