Seriously? why?

My own confessions:
1. Yes, way too fat
2. Lycra shorts+hairy legs (will never shave - wife's orders)
3. I lurk on here far too much and almost never contribute
4. My bike is far better than I am
5. I have pedals you should clip into, but I often don't (I justify this by saying that I do a lot of riding in the city and it is a pain to be constantly clipping in and out - the truth is that I'm just not very good at it)
6. I suck at turning, yes turning.... to the point that I am embarrassed
7. There are many points of minutiae within cycling that I'm just too embarrassed to ask anyone about