Agree with 53...only so much you can do. Although stems in the 140-150 range don't grow on trees...they are on e-bay. I have had 4-5 stems on my current road bike to dial in the fit just right. Then all I do is recycle them back through e-bay without much of a cost penalty. A couple of things really stike me about your post. One is how you say your bike with 130mm stem is twitchier than your other bike with 110mm stem which is absolutely plausible. Remember the backlash against shorter stems on bikes causing twitchier steering and how I mentioned that it is more about the bike geometry and your weight distribution on it. Your statement proves this point. The second thing is 58...you are a very serious cyclist and aspiring racer who is a 98% size rider. You have heard me say that for 90% of the cyclists out there, a custom frame isn't necessary. Well you fall outside this demographic. If ever there were a call for a custom frame...it would be you with not only your size but aspiration to race. You could simply part out your existing bike and put the frame on e-bay and have a custom frame built. Yes it will cost you a bit, but likely well worth the investment to get the right fit.
Good Luck,
George