My wife is in Poland, my son is at the babysitter and, in the course of spending a little too much time with my pirate friends (doing manly things with other manly men), it's been brought to my attention that I may be a bit of a prick.

This could be entirely true.

First off, if you are a BF nOOb, move along. There's nothing for you here.

Secondly, if you're one of the BF members I've come to know in person, piss off - you'll get yours soon enough.

And lastly, if you're one of those I've been snide to, talked down to, berated, belittled and just been plain old mean to, I'm sorry. Really I am.

Sorry about that.

It's nothing personal, really.

If you think about it I don't very often insult people personally, just some of the gibberish they post. I have no problem disagreeing with someone (and sometimes being wrong) I just don't suffer fools kindly. It may be a flaw but it's my flaw and I own it.

If you have been the target of my often tongue in cheeck vitriol, please bear in mind that it isn't you (you may be a really swell person and everything) it's just the words that came out of your fingers I felt compelled to whiz on.

Just your words - not you, your living room carpet or your dog. Surely we're all adult enough to get past that, non?

I mean I don't really even know you. To me you're just a 64x64 gif and a bunch of words. I'm sure if we actually met and had a beer (ok, just one more) with the exception of the self anointed Poop of BF we'd totally get along.

If you are honest, I can also be pretty helpful on occassion. I know with nearly 5000 posts I must have said something useful by now to somebody at some time. I mean the odds are certainly in my favour. Maybe it was even you.

I don't want to be Debby Downer...but I love you guys, man. Really I do. And I'm sorry if I pissed you off. It's just my way.

Anyway, it seems like we have to go; They're turning on the lights and the last thing I want to see is this carpet in bright light.