If the frame is aluminum, with the head tube machined to match the 45 degree bearing outer race, it is certainly possible to damage the frame if the bike is ridden extensively with the headset bearings adjusted too loose. That's why Park Tool makes a cutting tool to recut the bearing seats in the frame. Cases of extreme damage that aren't repairable are rare. Much of the literature that predicted short-lived frames came from manufacturers like Chris King, who did not make integrated models, when the warnings were written. Mountain bikes obviously take a more severe beating than a road bike.

A lot of frames have replaceable bearing seats. All LOOK carbon frames have them. A sign of a cheap carbon frame is either using the carbon as a bearing seat, or using a thin aluminum seat that's molded into the carbon and not replaceable. The Cervelo R3 that I owned briefly was made that way.