Today I got stuck behind the most annoying cyclist ever on my ride home.

1. Pedal pedal coooaaaast pedal pedal pedal cooooaaassst pedal pedal coooast. He would totally mash it during the very short pedal stints and then coast and slow down.

2. He had big headphones on and clearly couldn't hear the traffic because he kept glancing back (seriously like every 5 seconds) so I didn't feel safe passing him until I had lots of room -- I couldn't tell if he was going to move into the lane or not.

It's bike to work week here in Chicago (we do it a month later here than everywhere else to avoid the likelihood of it being 40 degrees and raining), and it's like amateur hour on the streets. So much slow and stupid all at once.

(Also I am clearly an elitist ******* cyclist that hates everyone and if I believed in hell, I'd be headed there.)