I am trying to learn what I need to learn in order to purchase my first proper road bike (my dad's hand-me-down Sekai doesn't count). Also, I don't want to walk into my LBS and look like a total noob.

In this present state of enforced isolation, I am encountering some difficulty measuring myself for potential frameset choices. I don't like asking for help, so I have given serious consideration to getting my girlfriend very drunk, waiting for her to pass out, and practicing (measuring) on her.

The fine line between inseam measurement and Class D felony grows ever finer.