Hi there, and congratulations on your 30!!!
I'm sorry but I've no advice to give, but I am interested in your questions (and hopefully some answers) as hubby and I are new to cycling - 3 weeks - and have just done our first 22 miler. (We've clocked up some 70 miles in total).
Well done you on 30 though - I'm so jealous
I too share your 'pain in the butt', and hubby also has the probs with tingling hand plus a bit of neck stiffness. Like you we have good quality padded shorts and gloves.