I understand the OP I think.

I've been single for 8 years and would just love to at least have a messy affair I could regret all my life but I'm too tired to bother stealing somebody's old lady.

Sometimes when your mind argues with itself it's best to park it and reflect. Chicks will still dig your atitude for life. Your mind will be happier on curves, or in an off-road vehicle at speed.

You have failed NOTHING. It's time to win at other pursuits. You've had some admirable times that I envy.

PS This is a natural crossroads that happens to all who are not killed or pre-empted by misfortune.

Thank you for writing and I want to know what you do so update us. I appreciate your problem and wish the best for you regardless.