I don't get why so many seem to have a problem riding with a spouse of lesser ability or fitness. When you ride with your spouse/SO, you ride to be together and enjoy the activity together...if you can't do that because you gotta go balls-to-the-wall all the time, you got a problem that may require professional help. There is no rule that says you can't go for rides by yourself when you want to push hard...and if there is...then maybe your spouse/SO has a problem that may require professional help.
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"Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey