Stopped at a "T" intersection, waited for cross traffic.
When traffic passed I started the right turn, uphill.

I spun the pedal trying to clip in, clipped in on the second try and realized that I wasn't moving forward... but I wasn't falling.

[switching to Super Slo-mo... actual elapsed time, about 0.4 seconds]

Head to feet: "Hey, guys -- move it or lose it!"
Feet to head: "We're trying -- can't budge the cranks!"

Ears to head: "Do you hear that?"
Head to ears: "I hear it, but I can't figure out what it is."

Eyes to head: "Uh, this doesn't look right."
Head to eyes: "Do I have to do everything around here?"

Before I could figure out what was wrong and unclip, it was all over and I was under the pickup truck that ran up over me from behind.

Does that count?