I've thrashed several sets of Bontrager (Stock Trek) wheels at 220 while trying to ride light and making tension adjustments. I can't get over 2000 miles out of a set, that includes the front.

I can't get 20,000 out of wheels I build on my own but nothing over 2,000 on the Bontrager wheels. Seems a little similar to your experience.

Gina did get 13,000 out of a Bont Race Lite wheel before it cracked. Of course she way far less than you and I but still 13,000 ain't all that great even for a lighter rider. FTR, I put a Dura Ace/Deep V on her bike. I asked her if she noticed the weight penalty while climbing or accelerating. She said it felt faster and more responsive because it was not flex wimpy like the other wheel. She said she would have never noticed how wimpy the other wheel was till she rode the Deep V.