TMonk

1) A good chunk of my friends are other competitive cyclists, including my girlfriend.
2) My bike is a tool. It's a pretty, special and important tool, but it's still a tool.
3) Quite the contrary
4) No
5) Ever commute? I often ride into work with a matching team kit, road clipless, bald legs blah blah blah... but with a huge messenger bag
6) I always wave, unless it is unsafe to do so
7) I have generic mis-matching cycling clothing that I am never ashamed of wearing
8) Well two large sized water bottles can last me up to 4 hours in the absence of excessive heat and then more water is just a quick stop so I gotta agree with you on this one
9) No. If you want to be totally stereotypical, it's as follows:
other roades = racers or freds
anyone on a mtb not in lycra/shaved legs = stoner
anyone on a fixed gear not in lycra/shaved legs = hipster