Originally Posted by
guadzilla
You seem like a pretty reasonable guy to have a discussion with, so I'll refrain from being snarky (and apologize for my earlier snark as well).
No problem, I'm used to rude believe it or not...
You've actually been fairly engaging and show a desire to understand an alternate perspecive and discuss so I don't mind.
But dont you think you are exaggerating quite a bit when you say that a simple hand on the shoulder is what often leads to violence? In society - atleast the societies I have lived in - casual contact happens with a lot of regularity and is not really a big deal.
In most of the cultures I've lived in, casual contact only happens between people who know each other. Alot of asian cultures refrain from touching each other at all in public. Arabic cultures do no allow men and women to touch each other in public at all. Some south american cultures view close proximity as a threat. If you stare someone in the eye in any of these cultures its considered an invitation to fight.
A hand on the shoulder is leverage, its probably an exagerration to view it as such because it always comes down to intent, but with one hand on one of your sholders I can move you in any direction I want you to go.
I can understand if you say that you are not comfortable with random strangers touching you.
Even though I find it excessive, I can accept a "what the hell are you doing" response.
But I am struggling to understand how you think equating incidental contact to assault and responding with violence is somehow reasonable and acceptable.
If I accidentally bump into you in a bar, and give you a pat on the shoulder by way of apology, are you going to start punching me? Which of these 2 behaviors is atypical in society, do you think?
No, But i'll probably grab the wrist and use it as leverage to then control the arm and from there do my best to ascertain your intent. Let's reverse it. If I bump into you in a bar, I'm not going to pat you on the sholder as an apology. I'm going to take one to three steps back, keeping my palms facing you and my hands below my waist where you can see both of them and tell you plainly that I'm sorry. I will watch your face to see if you accept it and then either continue on with what I was doing or focus on the middle of your chest so I can react to your movements.
Of course I also don't drink so... your less likely to see me in a bar. I don't really do crowds, but if I have to be in the throng or choose to be for whatever reason, I really try to keep a level of mind/body awareness that focuses more on placement of touches and level of intensity/impact/repetition...ect. I usually only end up in these situations for work purposes though.
I guess I'm a bit anti-social, or mabye morbidly polite. I will say I cycle for the zen and am happier 5 pitches up in a hanging bivy on the side of a mountain, or hiking glaciers in alaska, or being in my small circle of friends and family, than I am meeting new people.