Ok, so this is what we do:
1 - obtain a chrome pista, they are all over so this shouldn't be hard
2 - mount freewheel on the pista
3 - ride up to Powell and California by way of the loin, while singing loudly about how cool the bike is
4 - lock bike with a combo lock and cable
5 - leave a brake lever on the bars, but take the caliper off, or take the shoes out of the caliper
6 - wait for hilarity and possibly bodily injury or death to ensue

I think by locking it up you can get around any claims of mistaken bicycle identity, no? I mean, that doesn't really hold up if the guy had to cut a lock off the bike in order to ride it away. Also, by putting a cable around it, you're pretty much guaranteeing that the bike will get stolen, nothing attracts thieves like a cheap bike cable, it must be great fun to cut through them with bolt cutters or something...