If it's mind-numbing, then you're overthinking it. At the end of the day, it's a bike, and you're going to ride it. Hard to go wrong as long as you get one that fits. Go to a shop you trust, ride lots of bikes, buy the one that (a) fits, (b) is comfortable, (c) you can afford and then have fun on it. The internet loves to make things more complicated, but if you do the above you pretty much can't go wrong.