Yes, both sides of the trainer are threaded and screw inward.

Yes, I've tightened the SOB as tight as it will go, double checked it for any wiggle, but the bike seems to be working its way loose around the 15 minute mark.

No, I repeat, no, I will not post a video of the barely-controlled chaos that is me falling out of my trainer.

Yes, I think I will invest in a better trainer. Suggestions, please?