Hmm, it has been a couple of hours, or around eight since I was struck by a moving mound of metal. It feels excellent to be alive but I have a feeling as if I'm not really inside "me" but watching through me. I've almost died a few other times in various events and have experienced the same interpretation of reality.

I'll take this event as a gentle reminder to enjoy the moment, love the pedal stroke and not rush on a bicycle. I'm still getting anywhere many times faster than by automobile or public transportation, so smile and be happy.

Which brings me to the divisiness I've witness visually on this site. I've been on here a year or so, I'd suppose, and it has become more and more shattered. I used to be infuriated by drivers and now I'm maddened by cyclists outing other cyclists over tire rotation, unicrown forks, spoke cards, pant-leg rolling. Holy, holy. Just stop and think for a minute. I definitely don't want enemies in the crowd of non-drivers.

And as for drivers, maybe I wasn't angry today because a part of my flipped body understood that drivers are not humans, that they are not cyclists, but animals programmed to drive heavy machines with little attention to detail, or other human life. Maybe in that moment of near death, agony or bike destruction, I found what I've been after, which is a bit of understanding.

I love this site because people who know far more about fixes than I give me excellent advice when I pop a tube or hear a grind. But more and more I'm disillusioned by the fractures within even this small community, lines drawn over spoke cards, unicrown forks and other baloney. If near death has made me reflective, I feel an abiding certainty that it is better to enjoy the passion and companionship of fellow fix riders than welcome divisions based on minutiae.

Enjoy your ride, know that cars are possessed in a way that draws them to run into you, enjoy the silence of your bike and do your darn best to avoid those wild bumpers!