I have similar issues but no where near as severe as yours. I own a Bacchetta Giro which is a blast until I have to load its 30 lbs on a Thule rack on my Passat. I agree, it's no fun.
I think the alternatives are costly. I could get the carbon fiber equivalent of my aluminum bike for $4000, or I could pay $600 for a trailer hitch to be installed on the Passat and another chunk of change for one of those nifty bike racks that only sit about a foot off the ground.
Over the next 18 months I'll probably go the latter route. Unfortunately, unless you ask others to load it for you (which might be the way to go if you're persuasive enough), you don't have that many other options.
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Momento mori, amor fati.